The Hungry Blonde Bristolian: The Great UWE Canapé Crusade

If we were to examine the content beneath the 'Canapés, Cupcakes and Cocktails' umbrella, it seems as though one-third of this alliterate namesake has been grossly under-represented; I mean, I’ve trawled the streets of Bristol in search of the perfect cocktail (though all in the name of research I can assure you) and my sweet-tooth has been altogether well-documented; my affiliation with cake proving at best, well-known and at worst, notorious! Yet, it’s rare for me to find an opportunity to review a good round of canapés…until now that is You may be aware (as per ‘when the day job met the blog’) that I work in the Higher Education arena and more specifically, within the illustrious world of event management. Consequently and in light of the high-profile lecture series that had been tentatively placed within my remit, you could say that I've spent the last four-to-five months somewhat concentrated on canapés; striving to deliver the best possible culinary backdrop to the all-important networking session that follows each professorial or corporate address at the University of the West of England (UWE).

FB1 Anyone...?!

OK, so I’m not a chef by any stretch of the imagination and my knowledge of the catering provision, both within the establishment in question and in general, is admittedly rather restricted. That said, something which every event coordinator that's worth their salt can guarantee, is that the single most important aspect of any function is the standard of its refreshments – why else do you think that such a huge emphasis is put on this particular aspect of one's wedding day and how would you otherwise explain the strong turn-out for the likes of library launches and 'cheese and wine' chess meets?! Digress though I might, with this in mind and the fact that my high-brow lecture series was going to be otherwise underpinned with what is commonly known as FB1 (or for those unfamiliar with UWE's relentless use of acronyms, finger buffet one) - which is essentially a buffet reminiscent of a five-year-old's tea party complete with crust-less triangular-shaped sandwiches and sausages on sticks - it meant taking matters into my own hands! As a result, I decided to say no to the UFOs (or, unidentifiable food objects) that have been suffered by many; mystery sandwich-fillings which never fail to bestir a grimace from even the politest of recipients. Instead, I set out to design five jam-packed menus comprising what I deemed suitable edibles for this particular calibre of event...Simple, I hear you say...anyone can create canapés with the wow-factor without breaking the bank, well not with the following elements working against one's efforts:

Attempting too much work with a limited work-force (yup, that old chestnut) – particularly in terms of what I know to be an incredibly hard-working Conference Office, Events Team (even if I do say so myself) and Catering Service – teams which face a diverse line-up of events - each with a unique assemblage of challenges and demands – on a day-to-day basis;
Changing the habits of a lifetime – yes, there are actually people out there who find comfort in the familiarity of prawn cocktail or (I kid you not) a cheese and pineapple hedgehog!
Corporate constraints – for instance, being unable to deviate from the UWE catering service in any sense; even, it seems, to draw inspiration from external parties;
Financial implications – which given the current climate is unsurprising really in that the average buffet 'reception' (for approximately one-hundred delegates) racks up a bill of over one-thousand big ones!

Fully acquainted with the gradient of my climb, step one meant ploughing through the existing menus that could be booked as standard and picking from them anything that came close to acceptable. So... greasy chicken 'wings of fire', scrupulous-looking mushroom vol-a-vents - no; bite-sized banoffee pies, mini filled spud-jackets - yes! Step two was sponsored by Google! Here I scoured the web, drooling over images of fancy finger foods; having to reign myself in on several occasions from the downright elaborate - shunning the likes of caviar and cake pops in favour of stylish simplicity and a focus on the best of the season. I studied the competition; making a note of the varying ranges and rates elsewhere; coming to the conclusion that, on the back of a can-do attitude and a little imagination, the sky was the limit!

Tapping the send button to whiz my findings to the head of catering, I sat quaking in my kitten heels; just how cheeky was it to boycott her work thus far? Challenging this pillar of the institution with what she could so easily cast aside as wishful thinking. Furthermore, as the weeks passed and the first lecture of the series became imminent, I began to think that my munchable mission lay dead in the water and, although I did eventually attain a response, it proved rather disheartening to say the least; both over-pricing what I had suggested and implying that the menus fared too seasonally specific. Though, after a little negotiation, a chance meeting with the director herself (ah yes, *I'm* the trouble-maker responsible for the recent onslaught of snapshots and recipes you've been experiencing) and a great deal of email correspondence, we had ourselves five tantalising yet reasonably-priced menus which we would rotate throughout the series. Therefore without further ado, here lies the fruits of our labour which I'm pleased to report have since warranted an overwhelmingly positive response; allowing for the Conference Office to better promote their services and most importantly; encouraging those attending each lecture to stay on for supper (and thus, that aforementioned networking hour) – perhaps in some cases even instigating a return visit or a recommendation of the series itself to one's peers...

NB. All menus cost £12 a head

Menu 1

Mini Pitta Bread filled with Tomato, Feta and Pesto / Mini Pitta Bread with Hummus and tri-coloured Peppers

Stuffed Baby Potatoes with Bacon and Cheese (served warm)

Mini prawn spoons

Vegetable Crisps and Tyrell’s Crisps/Kettle Chips

Mini Scones (jam/cream)

Mini chocolate tart

Yes, you can actually eat the spoons!

Menu 2

Cheese Platter

Local Wiltshire honey roast ham platter

Organic Bread

Chunky coleslaw

Pickles ,chutney and assorted olives

Fresh Strawberries and cream

Petit Fours (mini cakes)

Note the beautiful presentation...

Menu 3

Rye Crisp bread with low fat Cream Cheese garnished with Prawns and Dill

Rye crisp bread with wafer thin turkey and cranberry chutney

Nann bread fingers served with coronation dip (served warm)

Lime and Coriander Chicken Skewer

Apricot and Stilton Parcel (served warm)

Petit Fours (mini cakes)

These were a touch soggy but tasty nevertheless!

Mini Vanilla Slices = Yum!

Menu 4

Parma ham wrapped asparagus spears (with lemon mayo dip)

Mini savoury scones with cream cheese and chutney (v)

Smoked salmon blinis

Chicken goujon with salsa dip

Home-made cheese straws (served warm)

Fresh fruit kebab

Colourful and nutritious!

A better Blini!

Menu 5

BBQ Pork rib meat on pork scratching (served warm)

Warm Mini Goats cheese tart with red onion (served warm)

Bloody Mary Cherry tomatoes in shot glass

Salmon goujons with citrus dip

Pork and leek sausage with apple chutney

Mini banoffi pie

As a keen foodie, I can't help but harbour a great deal of excitement in regards to the future of UWE catering and I'm hoping that this brief canapé crusade has demonstrated the power behind a nicer nibble - bring on the Spring/Summer UWE Lecture Series and with it, the best that these glorious seasons have to offer; both in topical address and suitably spectacular cuisine!